Many parents have been in close quarters with their kids for the past year and a half. Now, as students across the country prepare to return to school full time in person, many parents of elementary- and middle-school students are wondering if they should send their kids off with a phone.
“What we know is that there is not a magic age for when to get a child a smartphone, but by age 11, 53% of kids have their own smartphone,” said Kelly Mendoza, a vice president at Common Sense Media, a nonprofit group focused on responsible media use. (The figure comes from a 2019 survey the organization conducted of more than 1,600 people between the ages of 8 and 18 in the U.S.) “Sixth grade is a big transition for kids, when they start middle school and start to have more independence,” she said.
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Even though middle school is a turning point for many parents in making the leap, Ms. Mendoza said age isn't as important as a child's maturity. She said parents can assess their children's phone readiness by asking themselves the following questions: Do they show a sense of responsibility, such as getting their homework done on time? Are they responsible for their things—do they tend to lose or damage personal items?Do they already keep other devices, such as tablets,charged? Would they be able to resist texting or scrolling in class?
It is also wise to assess whether there are legitimate needs for children to have a smartphone, such as being able to communicate while taking public transportation, or being reminded to take medication.
Many kids start asking for a phone once their friends have one. The requests can start as early as elementary school, but the peer pressure heats up in middle school, according to digital-media experts and parents.
Understanding your children's motivation can help you decide. Do they just want one because they want to fit in? Are they being excluded from social interactions, such as group texts? Sometimes the pressure can even come from school clubs and sports teams. A coach might require students to check Facebook for scheduling updates.
Once you've decided to give your child a phone, the next question is what type. We generally recommend giving your kid a phone that runs on the same operating system as yours.
Deciding on the right phone for your children isn't the final step. Before they power it up for the first time, experts say you should talk to them about your expectations for its use, and the consequences for losing or damaging the phone or for violating the rules.
Ground rules include when and where the phone should be used, where it should charge up at night (hint: probably not in their bedroom), how to treat others on social media and how to report cyberbullying.
这一年半以来,许多父母一直与孩子朝夕相处。现在,全国的学生都准备返校上全天的线下课,许多中小学生的家长思忖着是否该让孩子带着手机上学。
关注负责任媒体使用问题的非营利性组织——共识媒体咨询公司的副总裁凯利·门多萨说:“我们所知道的是送孩子智能手机是没有所谓黄金年龄的,但到了11岁,53%的孩子都有了自己的智能手机。(这一数据来自该组织2019年对美国1600多名8岁至18岁的受访者进行的调查。)六年级对孩子来说是一个重大转变期,他们将开始中学的学习,变得更独立。”
门多萨说,尽管中学是许多家长迈出这一大步的转折点,但年龄的重要性比不上孩子的成熟。她说,家长可以通过以下几个问题来评估自家孩子是否做好使用手机的准备:孩子是否有责任感,比如按时完成家庭作业?他们能否照管好自己的东西——会不会丢失或损坏个人物品?他们有没有记得给已经拥有的平板电脑等其他设备充电?他们能在课堂上忍住不发信息或浏览网页吗?
评估孩子有没有必须配备智能手机的合理需求也是明智之举,比如在乘坐公共交通工具时能跟人联系或者接收服药提醒。
很多孩子是在他们的朋友们有手机后开始要手机的。据数字媒体专家和家长说,孩子可能最早从小学就开始提这类要求了,但到了中学,同伴压力越来越大。
了解孩子的动机有助于你做决定。他们要手机只是因为他们想跟别人一样吗?他们是否被排除在短信群聊等社交互动之外?有时,压力甚至可能来自学校俱乐部和运动队。教练可能会要求学生到脸书上查看最 新日程。
一旦你决定送孩子手机,下一个问题是送什么类型的手机。我们通常建议给孩子买一部与你手机使用相同操作系统的手机。
确定给孩子买合适的手机并不是最后一步。专家说,在孩子第一次开机之前,你应该跟他们谈谈你对他们使用手机的期望,还有丢失或损坏手机或违反约定的后果。
基本规则包括何时和何地使用手机、夜间在何处充电(提示:可能不要在他们的卧室)、如何在社交媒体上与他人相处以及如何举报网络霸凌。
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