2018年托福写作模拟试题:忙绿世界,不应该期望人们对别人有礼貌
Do you agree or disagree: The world is busy and crowded, we should not expect people to be polite to others.
【译文】
你同意还是不同意:世界是忙碌而拥挤的,我们不应该期望人们对别人有礼貌。
【解析】
规范的写作布局是托福写作冲刺高分最为基础的一个环节,而文章的新意更多是来自于文章观点的新颖。
想要写出一个有新意的观点,平时需要多思考多积累,原班套用范文或是模板的内容,自然是无法提起阅卷人的兴趣。
但是,大家也不必过于深究观点的对错,毕竟托福独立写作主要还是考查童鞋们对于话题的论述是否流畅清晰。有了原创的观点,自然就不用担心观点会出现雷同的问题了。
这里还需要提醒大家,不要过于纠结观点的深度,观点定位过深,一时之间不能找到论据,导致无话可说,反而会适得其反。
People today enjoy great material wealth due to hardwork, but some complain that people today are less polite than they used to be. Extremists argue that people do not need to have the conventional social norms, such as saying hello to other people, because those manners are a waste of time. However, I think politeness is important in many aspects of modern life.
【译文】
今天的人们因为努力工作而享受着巨大的物质财富,但也有人抱怨今天的人们不像以前那么有礼貌了。极端主义者认为,人们不需要有传统的社会规范,比如向他人打招呼,因为这些行为是在浪费时间。然而,我认为礼貌在现代生活的许多方面都很重要。
【解析】
对于托福独立写作来说,规范的写作布局是宝宝们的基础工作。五段三点式的文章结构,永远是托福独立写作的主线脉络。对于这类观点选择类型的独立写作来说,首段清晰明了的表达自己的观点,切记模棱两可,摇摆不定。
First, in dealing relationships with family and friend, people need to be polite and considerate. Many young people today claim that they are too busy to call their parents and contact their friends. Once, I refused to spend time talking with parents, using the excuse that I had too much work. The consequence was that my mother got angry and hung up the phone. Our relationship was strained, but I soon realized my rudeness and apologized to my mother. My mother forgave me because I showed my respect and concern for her. This situation is also true for friends. Politeness is a bond in relationships with close family members and friends.
【译文】
首先,在处理与家人和朋友的关系时,人们需要有礼貌和体贴。今天许多年轻人声称他们太忙了,不能打电话给父母,联系他们的朋友。有一次,我拒绝花时间和父母交谈,借口说我有太多的工作要做。结果是我妈妈生气了,挂了电话。我们的关系很紧张,但我很快意识到我的无礼,并向我母亲道歉。我母亲原谅了我,因为我对她表示了尊敬和关心。这种情况也适用于朋友。礼貌是与亲密的家庭成员和朋友之间的关系。
【解析】
中间段落的文章结构是Transitional words + topic sentence +development。如果考生在平时能熟练运用这样一个结构来展开作文,那么考场上就会凭借这份思维定势来帮助自己抓住每一分。
Transitional words主要有以下三种:
1.表顺序:firstly, secondly, finally /last but not least;(本文就是选择了这种连接词)
2.表并列:besides, in addition;
3.表对比:in contrast, in comparison。
这些衔接词会让文章看起来脉络清晰,组织严密,也就做到了评分标准中的“well-organized”一条。
Second, in a working environment, one needs to obey the basic social norms of courtesy for interpersonal communication. Consider a rude colleague who is always short and unpleasant with his coworkers. Not many people are willing to work with him, because he does not show any basic skills or ability to deal with people. On the contrary, a coworker who smiles and acts respectfully towards others will certainly be more popular and easier to work with. Obviously, politeness will never be outdated, no matter how busy the world becomes.
【译文】
其次,在工作环境中,人们需要遵守人际交往的基本社会规范。想想一个粗鲁的同事,他总是和同事们很矮,很不愉快。没有多少人愿意和他一起工作,因为他没有表现出任何基本的技能或能力去对付别人。相反,一个微笑并尊重他人的同事肯定会更受欢迎,也更容易共事。显然,无论世界变得多么繁忙,礼貌都不会过时。
【解析】
在托福独立写作中,全新的例证内容是文章的点睛之笔。相信很多同学在备考过程中会不断地积累一些新的例证资料,新的例证搭配新颖的观点,会让你的作文在千百人中脱颖而出。上段作者举了自己与母亲的例子,本段又例举了工作中的例子,结合自己的工作生活,使得文章更具有说服力。
Third, in the political realm and entertainment industry, celebrities need to show a gracious and friendly manner in order to maintain a positive image. All politicians have a hectic agenda. But when they are giving a speech to the public, politicians need to dress appropriately and speak in a certain way. Patience when answering questions is also a must. Similarly, a famous movie star or a pop singer needs to show a friendly attitude towards any crazy fan. Otherwise, the printing media will make a big deal out of his/her unappreciative manner towards fans.
【译文】
第三,在政治领域和娱乐产业中,名人需要表现出亲切友好的态度,以保持积极的形象。所有的政客都会议程繁忙。但是,当他们在向公众发表演讲时,政治家们需要适当地着装,并以某种方式说话。回答问题时的耐心也是必须的。同样,一个著名的电影明星或流行歌手需要对任何狂热的粉丝表现出友好的态度。否则,媒体就会大肆宣扬他/她对粉丝的无礼之举。
【解析】
很多同学在看到“polite”这个字眼就会陷入一种思维定式,那就从日常生活文明现象等方面来举例子,试想,阅卷者阅读成千上万个类似例证的文章难免会出现审美疲劳,这时,新颖的例证往往可以抓人眼球。可以看到,这位同学跳脱出惯常思维,以政客、明星的表现作为论据,呈现了文明礼貌对于不同职业的人来说具有同样的重要性,这样的“另类”分析可以说是十分吸睛了!
In conclusion, though the world today drives people to work like machines, politeness is a prerequisite for people to have a satisfying home life and a fulfilling career.
【译文】
总之,尽管当今世界驱使人们像机器一样工作,但礼貌是人们拥有令人满意的家庭生活和令人满意的职业的先决条件。
【解析】
文章的结尾段,总结自己的观点,首尾呼应。总之,在托福独立写作中,文章的规范布局是基础。但是,想要冲刺托福独立写作的高分,还需要在规范布局之外寻找写作的新意,这是大家的重要着力点!