2016年托福写作点睛：结构+内容+语言_第2页

　　【例子 1】

　　Besides, a variety of means of transportation make it quick and cozy for people to travel. 【理由 2】 Subways, taxis, private cars, high-speed railways shorten the distance between places. 【论证为什么理由 2 可以推出观点】A good example in point is that my grandparents used to live in suburbs, and anytime they want to do some shopping in urban center, it usually took them 2 hours, owing to bumpy roads and low-efficient old-fashioned vehicles. On the contrary, with great improvement of road condition and advanced traffic modes, they only have to spend 20 minutes a most traveling from home to the city. If it is very hot in summer, all modern vehicles are air-conditioned, which can make the trip very comfortable.

　　【例子 2】

　　Last but not least, today’s ample food supply and various food choices are something beyond imagination in the past. 【理由 3】Decades ago, in China, all foods used to be arranged by the government. In other words, it was impossible for people to purchase what they liked to eat. 【论证为什么理由 3 可以推出观点】For example, an average family was only allocated 1 pound of pork and 2 pounds of rice. In contrast, nowadays, we never have to worry about the lack of food because supermarkets and snack bars abound.

　　【例子 3】

　　To sum up, because of the progress of economy and technology, I am convinced that life at present is more comfortable and easier, which can be well demonstrated through examples of convenient communication, quick and cozy traffic modes and sufficient food supply and choices. 【总结理由，重申观点】If our government takes efficient measures to solve the environmental problem, our world will become a better place to live.

　　建议：议论文除了五要素，在给出论点之前多会有简单的背景介绍，不需要长，三两句话即可，为论点的提出造势。

　　2内容

　　这篇范文通过通讯、交通和饮食三个方面，共同论证现在的孩子相较其祖父辈生活的更轻松、舒适，每个理由下面都有具体的事例作为细节支撑，让论证更有说服力。

　　以饮食为例，作者举例说，以前食品由政府分配，数量有限制，人们不能随心所欲买到需要的食品;而现在则大不一样，在超市里人们可以买到任何所需物品。这种新旧对比，更鲜明的表现出现代社会物资丰富、人们的选择权增加，由此可推断人们的生活变得更便捷、舒适，从而证明论点。

　　3语言

　　一篇高分作文在语言上，首先要保证语法正确，用词恰当，这样才能准确达意。在此基础上可以追求更多样、高级的表达。例如，文章开头要表现“社会发展迅速，人们的生活发生了天翻地覆的变化”这一含义，最常见的表达为：

　　Sample 1: Our society develops quickly, and people’s life has changed greatly.

　　Sample 2: With the rapid development of society, enormous change has happened in people’s life.

　　Sample 3: As society progresses remarkably, tremendous changes have taken place in people’s life.

　　通过三个句子对比可知，其中“迅速”的三种表达方式，quickly 最为平淡，rapid 居中，remarkable 最佳。同样的，要表达“翻天覆地”的含义，tremendous 就要比 great 或者 enormous 好的多，其他替换的词还有 considerable，drastic，significant 等等。

　　语言的优化需要不断的积累和练习，多记多练，不断扩充自己的语料库，唯有如此，文章才会写的越来越漂亮。