Love means that I know the person I love. I'm aware of the many sides of the other person----not just the beautiful side but also the limitations, inconsistencies and flaws. I have anawareness of the other's feelings and thoughts, and I experience something of the core ofthat person. I can penetrate social masks and roles and see the other person on a deeperlevel.
爱意味着我了解我所爱的人。我认识到对方的许多方面，不仅是美丽闪光的一面，还有能力上的不足、反复无常和性格上的缺陷。我了解对方的感情和想法，我能体验到那个人身上的某种本质的东西。我能透过对方社交场合的表现和在社会的角色，看到他更深层次的品质。
Love means that I care about the welfare of the person I love. To the extent that it is genuine, my caring is not a smothering of the person or a possessive clinging. On the contrary, mycaring liberates both of us. If I care about you, I'm concerned about your growth, and I hopeyou will become all that you can become. Consequently, I don't put up roadblocks to what youdo that enhances you as a person, even though it may result in my discomfort at times.
爱意味着我关心我所爱的人的幸福。只要这种关心是真诚的，那么它就不会是某种压抑或占有性的依附。与此相反，我的关心会使我们两个都不受到束缚。如果我在乎你，我就会关注你的成长，我希望你将来成为一个有所作为的人。因此，对你为完善自己所做的一切，我决不设置障碍，即使你做的事情有时会使我不快。
Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love. If I love you, I can see you as aseparate person, with your own values and thoughts and feelings, and I do not insist that yousurrender you identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me. I canallow and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are, and I avoid treating you asan object or using you primarily to gratify my own needs.
爱意味着尊重我所爱的人的尊严。如果我爱你，我会把你看成是独立的个体，有自己的价值观、思想和感情，我不会坚持让你放弃自己的特性，使你变成一个我期望你成为的那种人。我会允许并鼓励你保持独立，坚持自己的特色，我会避免把你当作一件东西对待或用你来主要满足我自身的需要。
Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love. If I love you, I'm responsive tomost of your major needs as a person. This responsibility does not entail my doing for youwhat you are capable of doing for yourself; nor does it mean that I run your life for you. Itdoes imply acknowledging that what I am and what I do affects you, so that I am directlyinvolved in your happiness and your misery. A lover does have the capacity to hurt or neglectthe loved one, and in this sense I see that love entails and acceptance of some responsibilityfor the impact my way of being has on you.
爱意味着对我所爱的人付责任。如果我爱你，我就会积极对待你的需要。这种责任并不等于我要为你做你自己能够做到的事情，也不是说我为你管理你的生活。它应该是承认我和我所做的事会对你产生影响，因此我直接与你的幸福和痛苦联系在一起。一个人的确可能会伤害或忽视他所爱的人。从这个意义上说，爱包含着我要为我(的生活方式)对你的影响承担一定的责任。
Love means growth for both myself and the person I love. If I love you, I am growing as aresult of my love. You are a stimulant for me to become more fully what I might become, andmy loving enhances your being as well. We each grow as a result of caring and being cared for; we each share in an enriching experience that does not detract form our being.
爱意味着和所爱的人共同成长。如果我爱你，我会为了对你的爱而成长。你将是激励我更加充实自己的动力，我的爱也会使你不断完善提高。我们因爱与被爱而成长;我们彼此分享积累的丰富经验而又不削减自己的个性。
Love means making a commitment to the person I love. This commitment does not entailsurrendering our total selves to each other; nor does it imply that the relationship isnecessarily permanent. It does entail a willingness to stay with each other in times of pain, uncertainty, struggle, and despair, as well as in times of calm and enjoyment.
爱意味着能够承诺我所爱的人。这种承诺并不需要我们相互放弃自身的特性;也不是指我们的这种关系一定要天长地久。这种承诺不仅包含着愿意在痛苦、犹豫、绝望的时候相互支持，也包含着共享平静与欢乐。
Love means trusting the person I love. If I love you, I trust that you will accept my caring andmy love and that you won't deliberately hurt me. I trust that you will find me lovable and thatyou won't abandon me; I trust the reciprocal nature of our love. If we trust each other, we arewilling to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses and reveal our trueselves.
爱意味着相信我所爱的人。如果我爱你，我会相信你将接受我的关心与爱意，我会相信你不会故意把我伤害，我会相信你终将发现我的可爱之处，我会相信你不会把我弃于不顾;我会相信我们是相爱的。如果我们彼此信任，我们就愿意敞开心扉，摘下面具，去掉伪装，显示我们真实的自我。
Love can tolerate imperfection. In a love relationship there are times of boredom, times whenI may feel like giving up, times of real strain, and times I experience an impasse. Authentic lovedoes not imply enduring happiness. I can stay during rough times, however, because I canremember what we had together in the past, and I can picture what we will have together in ourfuture if we care enough to face our problems and work them through. We agree with ReverendMaier when he writes that love is a spirit that changes life. Love is a way of life that is creativeand that transforms. However, Maier does not view love as being reserved for a perfect world. ”Love is meant for our imperfect world where things go wrong. Love is meant to be a spirit thatworks in painful situations. Love is meant to bring meaning into life where nonsense appears toreign.” In other words, love comes into an imperfect world to make it livable.
爱可以容忍缺点。在爱的关系中，必然会有厌烦的时候，有我想放弃的时候，有关系紧张的时候，有我感到绝望的时候。真爱不仅仅意味着我们能共同分享幸福。在艰难困苦的时期我也能和你在一起，因为我记得我们过去在一起度过的时光，如果我们对问题给予足够的重视，面对问题并能度过困难时期，我能想像我们将来在一起是个什么样子。我们同意梅尔教士的观点，即爱是改变生活的精神力量。爱是一种创造性的生活方式并能使生活改善。但是梅尔并不认为爱是完美世界独有的。“爱是给予我们这个有问题的不完善的世界的。爱是在痛苦的情况下发挥作用的精神。爱就是要使看起来无意义的生活变得有意义。”换句话说，爱来到这个不完美的世界使它适合人们居住。
