2020上半年商务英语初级段落写作指导（9）

　　Sample 1 H4 test 3 training----40min

　　The managing director of the company you work for has decided to review training in the company. You have been asked to submit a report about the training provided.

　　Requirement: summarize the content of the current training.

　　Describing the strengths of the training provided

　　Explaining the weaknesses of the training provided

　　Suggesting how the company’s training could be improved

　　Report On Training Programs

　　Introduction

　　This report sets out to review the training programs we are currently organizing and make proper recommendations for improvements. 1句

　　Overview of current programs

　　In response to the company’s recent strategy to expand into new markets, we are providing training courses on basic business skills such as marketing, strategic planning and staff management. The program consists of 12 one-day courses on each Saturday at the conference room. 2点，2句

　　Strengths

　　All the training courses were carefully designed, taking both long-term objective of the company and short term needs of staff into account. Particularly distinguished is the real life case studies accompanied by role play in the analysis of long-ago triumphs and disasters from relevant industries and organizations, which offers invaluable insights to successful running of business.

　　Weaknesses

　　However, some aspects proved to be less satisfactory. For example, many staff complained about having to sacrifice their weekends. Moreover, the trainers are selected from our existing senior managers, who tend to be too set in their ways of thinking. 2点，2句。

　　Recommendation

　　Thus, I recommend we make the following changes to improve the training:

　　Firstly, we could shift the one-day course on weekend into five one-hour courses from Monday to Friday. Secondly, we could invite a mix of high-qualified academics, senior managers and consultants as trainers. With the measures above, I believe, the training courses will be more welcome by our staff and eye-opening.

　　Sample 2 H3 1 Proposal internal communications

　　Your managing director is considering how to improve the company’s internal communications, and has asked you to write a short proposal giving your views on communication within your department.

　　R: Describing how communication currently takes place within your department

　　Pointing out the weaknesses of the present situation

　　Recommending one or two improvements that should be made

　　Proposal On Internal Communication

　　Introduction

　　This proposal aims at giving proper recommendations on internal communication of our company based on the analysis of the situation in HR. department.

　　Findings:

　　Our department consists of ten team members including one team leader. The daily communications mainly depends on e-mail and face to face talk. Regular meetings are held on weekly basis when the whole team sit together to discuss recently-experienced problems as well as steps to be taken. In addition, all the team members are required to submit a report to the line manager every month, bringing him up to date on work progresses.

　　Basically, the current communication system goes smoothly within our department. However, there are still some aspects that need urgent improvements.

　　Firstly, as we can see, the whole communication line is a single-way, top-down mechanism that doesn’t allow employees to express their wishes and complaints. For example, when they find their department head inefficient and incompetent, there is no way to express the dissatisfaction. Secondly, team members are not well informed of any change the top brass has made. Many of them have complained they are always the last one being told what was happening, leading to deep frustration of being outsiders.

　　Recommendations:

　　After closely assessing the situation, it is recommended to take the following steps in order to improve the internal communications.

　　Firstly, I recommend we establish a feedback and complaining system to collect opinions from all levels of employees about their work, for example, an “our voice ” column on the company newsletter, or a subordinate appraisal system which allows employees to have a say about the performance of their managers. Moreover, to improve internal information equality, an intranet needs to be introduced to deliver the latest news timely, thus avoid misunderstanding and misinterpretation about company’s new policies.

　　Sample 3 WEBSITE

　　Your managing director has decided that the company’s website should be improved and has asked you to consider ways of going about this.

　　R: A proposal for MD

　　Summarizing the strengths and weaknesses of the current website

　　Suggesting new services and information to be provided through the website

　　Explaining the benefits of the improvements would bring

　　Proposal On Website Improvement

　　Introduction

　　This proposal aims to evaluate the current website of our company and offer recommendations for improvements.

　　SWOT analysis

　　Strengths:

　　The current website consists of four sections which are “ABOUT US”, “PRODUCTS AND SOLUTIONS”, “NEWS” and “CONTACT US”. Basically, it has well achieved the purpose of presenting information. The contents are inclusive and well-organized under each column, giving visitors a clear idea about our company when they enter.

　　Weaknesses

　　However, some aspects seem less satisfactory: Firstly, the contents are very rigid and traditional, including only lengthy introductions and passages. Lack of pictures and movies makes the website nothing more like a brochure. Secondly, there is no way to interact with visitors. All these make the website a dull and unglamorous one.

　　Recommendations and would-be benefits

　　To make our website more attractive, it is recommended to make the following changes: Firstly, we should add pictures, movies, flashes to complement the literature. This will make the pages look vivid and interesting, thus getting the visitors stay around longer. Secondly, a two-way communication column such as “message board” need to be added so that visitors could express their opinions and make enquires online. In addition, offering on-line purchase facilities would also be a good idea to cater to the trend of online purchasing, which, I believe, will increase our sales volume remarkably. In conclusion, the measurements above are estimated to increase the number of visitors by 30% and present an up-to-date and dynamic image of our company.

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